When I was in my first masters program I had my first panic attack. It was about 12:00 am, while nursing my hungry daughter I’m simultaneously finishing up a paper that wbelieved just knew death was upon me. with a 2 week old infant in my armwas was having a stroke and dying.
At 29 years of life there were things I simply didn’t know about myself. What seemed to be a normal propensity for fearfulness and worry was not necessarily as “normal”as I thought. My family, intelligent people, we moved around the room oblivious to the ever present elephant that lived among us named ANXIETY. We lived, grew and conquered oblivious to the small suffocating space we lived in. High functioning anxiety makes you believe it’s all good even if you are falling apar
At 29 years I now had a name for my thinking and behavior. I had access to information and I educated myself. Knowledge is power! I now understood …… ME! I can control this now! I can fix me!
What I didn’t know was those declarations should have been questions on a path to understanding. Knowledge isn’t a destination that you have arrived at! Having information alone let’s you mistakenly believe, I CAN CONTROL THIS! But I failed to realize that my reliance on CONTROL was just another symptom.
Into focus. I saw the impact of growing and developing within that space. I saw how it had shaped and manifested in my life. I saw how observing it in my family as a growing child impacted my self esteem, influenced my choices and interrupted my dreams.
Growth of any kind requires a commitment of ongoing self-assessment. We have to check in on ourselves.
We check our weight, our timeline! We check our blood pressure, our likes, our bank account. We check our makeup. we check whether our butt looks good in those jeans. But what we fail to check in on ourselves.
- Are you mentally healthy?
- Were you mindful of your thoughts words and their impact on your actions?
- How was your mood today?
- How did that manifest in your behaviors?
- Did your actions today align with your Personal Vision Statement?
- What was your cognitive functioning like?
- Do you need support in any areas?
- Who is in you support team?
Ex. family, friends, pastor, doctors, therapist, psychiatrist and or support groups like AA.
As a country, community, family and individual we all need to check our hearts and our minds. We need to check our mental health!
FYI if everybody else is a mess but you just peachy, I’m talking to you too!!
God is Love!