via Daily Prompt: Create
As a new bride, married at 21, I had no clue what a marriage was. I thought like many young women that my husband would be my knight in shining armor. He would cater to my every whim. He would fulfill me and make me immensely happy! Boy, was I in for a surprise.
Unfortunately, we had no models of marriage beyond the, very fictional, Cosby Show. Figuring out this marriage thing was difficult and the early years were a struggle. my expectations were like a vine slowly choking the life out of our union. Truth be told my expectations were born out of lack. Lack of a model, lack of self-esteem, lack of appreciation, lack of self-love and lack of resources.
Several years into the marriage I was at a crossroads when I finally received this advice; No one is responsible for your happiness but you! As much as I blamed my husband for our struggles I started to do the one thing I never quite focused enough time on, self-assessment. I began to build my self-esteem and the journey of loving myself unconditionally. I started to read about marriage, trying to hear God’s still small voice, and I even returned to church. I got a very clear message from God; You have the power to change your marriage. God gave me a vision for my marriage and he gave me the ability to create my dream marriage.
I started to focus on being a good wife and mother. I journaled about my vision for our marriage and began the process of creating that vision. I did something earth shattering! I began to pray for my husband with the help of a book that a “then single” friend had received it to pray for her boyfriend and future husband. The title of the book is Power of a Praying Wife, By Stormie Omartian. This book was instrumental in developing my ability to pray effectively for my husband.
I found out through the action of prayer that you can not pray for your husband and not be changed. Prayer changed me and made creating my vision almost effortless. Marriage still was hard work but when you change your perspective it is easier to shift and shape your relationship in a meaningful way. Prayer not only changed me but it changed my husband. In May we celebrated our 22 anniversary and I know that together we have created our dream marriage.